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Cheating in a Relationship - The Effect on the Brain  E-mail


The goal of this website is to give support to people who are feeling depressed and unhappy with their lives. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world.



How cheating affects the brain and the mind

Finding out that your romantic partner has been cheating on you can be devastating emotionally. Infidelity forces you to rebuild your image of yourself, your life and your relationship. You can no longer say to yourself "I am in a relationship where there is no dishonesty" and "I have never been cheated on". From now on you must think of yourself as a person who has experienced those things. This is what is meant by "rebuilding your image of yourself". It is painful to admit that the love of your spouse towards you is not as unconditional and pure as you have thought. If it was, your spouse could not have cheated on you.

In order for you to get over cheating and move on (with or without your spouse) you need to go through the "reorganization" period. During this period you are integrating this new view of yourself and your spouse into your thinking.


Cheating equals small death

It is often painful to let go of the past. This is the reason why you feel emotional pain after finding out about cheating. In a way cheating is similar situation as death: You need to let go of the image you had of your spouse before cheating took place and replace that image with a new one. After you have integrated the new image of your spouse and your life into your mind, the pain will slowly subside and eventually you can move on with your life. This integration process can take long time. It takes on average 1-2 years to get over the sharpest pain after cheating. Same is true when a beloved one dies. In both cases you need to give yourself enough time to heal.




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