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Getting Rid of an Addiction to a Narcissist  E-mail

 

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The goal of this website is to give support to people who are feeling depressed and unhappy with their lives. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world.

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How to get rid of an addiction to a narcissist

 

"The scariest moment is just before you get started".

- Stephen King

 

You have decided to end your relationship with your narcissistic partner. Deep inside you know your partner is not going to change no matter how hard you wish for it. You know that if you stay in your relationship your life is going to be filled with stress, depression and unhappiness. You are struggling to break free of the spider's web, but find it to be extremely hard to detach yourself emotionally from your narcissistic spouse.

You are not alone with your painful feelings. Ending a relationship with a narcissistic partner after the emotional "addiction" has formed is one of the hardest things one can face in life. An addiction to a narcissist is comparable to an addiction to drugs or alcohol and it is equally difficult to get rid of it.

An alcoholic or a drug addict who is trying to get rid of the addiction is experiencing an overwhelming urge to have a drink or take drugs. Relapses are common on the path towards recovery. In similar fashion, relapses are occurring when one is trying to end a relationship with an emotional abuser. It is not uncommon for people to get back together with the person who has been abusive toward them. Others might find it very hard to understand why someone wants to get back with an abusive partner. Only those who have experienced a relationship with a narcissist or an abuser can understand how deep the "emotional hooks" can be buried in one's brain.

How to find the strength to break free and stay free

Getting rid of an addiction to a narcissist is the hardest part of the recovery process. If you have decided to end your damaging relationship with a narcissist, you may be facing the toughest challenge in your life so far. You can use this knowledge to your advantage. Instead of succumbing to desperation while facing a difficult challenge, you can choose to take a completely different approach. You can turn your negative experiences into your strength and use them to learn something new about yourself and the world around you.

You are much stronger than you think. You may feel you can never be emotionally "free" of your narcissistic partner, and that even if you end the relationship you will always miss him or her. This is the first lesson on your path towards freedom: These thoughts are an illusion, a smoke screen that is preventing you from seeing how bright your future will actually be without an abuser who is constantly preventing you from enjoying your life to the fullest.

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Comments (3)
  • Robin  - narcissist husband left me for another after 36 ye
    He was the love of my life...sat with me through cancer.....in the end I found him on dating sites...he
    kept me like a prisoner in other bedroom. I said I would not give up house then the physical violence started. He told people I was trying to kill him....he cleaned out bank accounts...he put a gun in my room without me knowing and called police to house..I was forced to leave house then he moved woman in. She does not work and is not divorced yet.
    I have fought the hardest battle in divorce courts.
    I am in therapy for PTSD and life is such a lonely scary place. Why do I miss this monster.
  • Laurie  - Narcissistic Addiction
    I'm trying to understand why people (myself) could ever get addicted to an abusive narcissist. My Narcissist ALWAYS finds a way to suck me back in. I've finally taken the step and blocked his phone number so he can't contact me. He lives far away. I wake up every morning feeling so liberated. He can no longer call me and I no longer unconsiously wait and expect his next contact. I'm so disappointed in myself for missing him and beging so terribly attracted to him. I think I could heal quicker if I could just understand why I would allow my self to be abused by this monster for so long.
  • four years
    It took me four years to break free from my N boyfriend. After that it took another two years to recover. Thank God it is all behind me now. I want to say this to those who are trying to make the relationship work with a narcissist: It (almost certainly) cannot be done. Get out and stay out, that is the only way to deal with these people.
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